Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
