And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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