apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
