That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I need to calm my uterus...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize