So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
