The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
