we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
