I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He? As in you personified your dick?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
