do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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