omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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