oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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