if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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