Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
