why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize