Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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