I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
