i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
