I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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