nut hugger
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
