Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
