Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize