I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
