I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
