sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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