I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
