I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
