one might say we're banned from that church
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize
