my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have post one night stand depression
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