I think i peed on brittanys purse
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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