smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
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