He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
