you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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