My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
zippers are such a cool invention
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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