You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize