gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
