"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize