I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
