yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
