you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
