i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
