he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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