so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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