it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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