My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
