And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
