dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
