Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
