it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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