The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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