So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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