I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you had me at cake vodka
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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