tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
