If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
