just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
