im drinking this country out of the recession.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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