Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
