Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
