forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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