Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
