So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
