Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
