So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
