I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
