I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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