Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
