i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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