Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
