I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
