I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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