I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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