Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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